


It’s Better to Burn Out Than to Fade Away

by AQuietThinker



Series: A Demon’s Precious Rose [2]
Category: Kiroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Asthma attack, F/M, Poor Ciel Phantomhive, Recovery, musical reference
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 06:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18986965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AQuietThinker/pseuds/AQuietThinker
Summary: The pride of a lion is your disguise, but the fear of a child is in your eyes





	1. The Earl

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody!  
> Here’s another short fic on Black Butler. I wanted to experiment a bit with the Undertaker, so here.  
> If there’s any grammatical mistakes, let me know in the comments.  
> ;)

The warm tea eased his throat from the unbearable itch, earning the Earl a satisfied sigh. He looked away from his Butler, now tending to a white cloth that had momentarily been upon his hot forehead.

“I believe that will do for now, my lord.” Sebastian concluded, placing a cup of tea on the desk.  
The last few days had been hell for him, and irritating for the demon. The asthma attack had lasted longer than expected, and secretly frightened the boy. It began when he collapsed after an untouched breakfast, eyes heavy with exhaustion and weak limbs failing to respond. As always, Sebastian had bolted to his side, eyes filled with either pity or concern. 

The next days consisted on foul medicine,breathing issues and constant warm baths to help lower the fever. Today he was in better health, with no fever, but the weakness still edged at his joints and limbs. 

“Do allow yourself some rest. I believe the evening air will do you some good.”

As for that moment, Sebastian had gently helped him out into the terrace, with honeyed tea and soup. There was no arguing the the Butler was perfect at the job of nursing ill patients.

(Then again, Ciel disliked- no, absolutely hated getting sick)

“Alright Sebastian. But just for a few moments.”

The demon smiled, bowed, and began walking towards the entrance before meeting with an awkward looking Mey-Rin. The Earl could hardly concentrate on their shushed voices, but caught a few words of surprise from Sebastian. With one last order, the demon walked again towards his master.

“My lord, there seems to have been an issue-“

The Butler was cut off by a shriek that pierced the peaceful afternoon, making Ciel and Mey-Rin jump. A blur of white and black ran towards the boy and ushered around.

“Lord Phantomhive, what a pleasure it is to finally arrive at the Manor. I’d say, I haven’t been here for a while, have you changed the flowers?”

The figure ran towards the vase of white roses, ignoring the death glare from Sebastian. Ciel himself took more time to comprehend the situation. Even when he spoke the usual irritation was washed away by surprise.

“Undertaker?”

The grim reaper turned with delight and sat down frantically on the chair opposite to Ciel.

“My my, lord Phantomhive. You seem to have gotten yourself quite ill.”

His childish smile annoyed the demon besides his master.

“Master, if you wish I can remove him-“

“No, Sebastian.” began Ciel, waving his hand. “Let him stay for now. It would be interesting to talk to someone and hear fresh news.”

He finished in a fit of quiet but raspy coughs. Even if he denied it, both the demon and grim reaper noticed the weakness in his voice. Sebastian, slightly taken aback, frowned in distaste.

“Very well, my Lord. Call if you are in need of anything.”

“Thank you, Sebastian.”

Both the demon and visitor again looked at each other with wonder. The Earl of Ohantomhive never thanked anyone, least of all his Butler. The demon’s eyes softened.

“Of course, my young lord.”

With that, he spun down the hall and into the manor again.

With obvious uncomfortableness, the boy turned his tiered eye to the visitor.

“Why have you come, Undertaker?”

“Why, can’t I come to visit my dear Lord?” The undertaker mocked, stroking a now plucked rose.

Ciel rolled his eye. 

“You always have motives.”

The man chuckled with his high pitched voice.

“Nothing ever escapes your eye, Lord Phantomhive. True enough, I did have my motives.” He caressed the rose, smelling it’s sweet fragrance. “I heard rumours about your sudden absence, but Sebastian never had the pleasure to eat your delightful soul. I was merely curious on what had happened.”

“So that’s it?” Ciel replied, unusually quiet. “You were checking if I needed to be fit in one of your wooden coffins?”

“Do not be that grim, my Lord. See, if your the happiest person, or a bitter weeper, a rich aristocrat or a fearful creature, they are all the same, in th eyes of the reaper.”

With that, he looked up at the boy, and he catches a glimpse of the older ones eyes, shinning. For a moment, Ciel’s own eye radiate anger.

“Do not play games with me, reaper. My soul is different.”

With difficulty, the Earl stood and strode towards the edge of the terrace.

“See, my soul is destined to be consumed, merely eaten. I will be whipped out of existence.” He chuckled softly, “Non of you reapers will ever have the chance to harvest me. Or watch my- is that how you call them- cinematic records.”

The Undertaker, intrigued by such words, walked to the boy’s side.“Do you regret it?”

The anger in his eyes vanished and was replaced by an unrecognisable feeling.

“What, making a deal with a demon?”

“Yes, my lord.”

Ciel took a deep breath, eye lost in the vast horizons, the sun now setting in a colourful pallet.

“No. I do no. As a Phantomhive, I was destined to end up alone in any case. The least I can do is serve my family name before I too, fall.”

The Undertaker beamed.

“Of course. But wouldn’t it be better to burn out than to fade away?”

At this question, Ciel turned to stare at him.

“My lord, your eye tells me everything I need to know. The pride of a lion is your disguise, but the fear of a child is in your eyes.”

With soft words, he replied.

“I do remain a child and yet I do no fear death. Whatever method comes, it will be what I deserve as a filthy dog. But I won’t fade away. I will die with honor.”

The Undertaker smirked with a certain mischievous gleam.

“Well, it was a pleasure visiting you, my Lord. Hopefully soon I’ll see you in my store.”

With one last cracked chuckle, the grim reaper disappeared as a blur of black and white, leaving only behind the now blackened rose, its petals laying turned on the floor.

The boy looked forward, glimpsing the remaining slice of sun, hiding underneath the forest of his estate. 

Without a word, but a nasty coughing fit, he returned to his study, ignoring a questioning look from Sebastian.

The questioned lingered on his thoughts; would he burn out, falling to his death as quickly as corpses shot dead, or would he slowly fade away in the misery of life?


	2. The Butler

A figure entered the dark room, spacious but cozy, with a candelabra held in a gloved hand. With care, it was set on the drawer, barley illuminating the delicate face of a young boy; the Earl of Phantomhive.

The demon silently kneeled next to the bed, placing his elbows on the soft mattress. Reddish eyes observed the sleeping form. Porcelain skin, blue-grey hair, soft as velvet. With a tenuous finger, he caressed the boy’s nosed, then his thin lips, then his closed eyes. 

He had heard the conversation between the grim reaper and his master. His curiousness had taken h8m hostage again.

He was surprised to hear his masters firm opinion; any other human being would have regretted the contract. Just as he didn’t understand why the boy did not regret his deal, the youngster himself didn’t understand why the demon had not yet consumed his soul.

“How could I?,” he wondered out loud, “You are such an interesting soul, my darling.”

He stretched forward, planting a kiss on the child’s forehead. He looked so peaceful in his sleep.

“Sweet dreams, Ciel.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m still working on a small second chapter to add to this fic.  
> If you have any prompts for me to write about, do tell!  
> :)  
> P.S. The title and part of the writing is based on a quote by Kurt Cobain.


End file.
